Open when you feel like no matter what you do, you're letting someone down

Dear Lisa,

It feels like no matter what you do, someone ends up disappointed—or, in your words, “let down” by you. Work, family, me, friends, patients—there is always a tug. That doesn’t mean you’re failing; it means you care, and you are one person.

Who actually matters here?

Think of the central people in your life: your closest friends, all the people you help, me. Every single one of us would choose Lisa’s wellbeing over getting our own way. Well, I would hope so anyway.

• 💙 I would always rather you be okay than get more of your time or energy.
• 💙 The people who love you most want you rested and safe, not burned out and performing.
• 💙 Your patients need you steady, not shattered from saying yes to everyone else. In this way, you're the patient too.

Make yourself the priority

• ✅ You are allowed to disappoint someone rather than abandon yourself completely.
• ✅ You are allowed to say “no” to things that cost your mental health. You're allowed to say “I need a minute.”
• ✅ You are allowed to change your mind, postpone, or put a pin in things when your body says “enough.”

In service to others, the person you are letting down most is you. Choosing rest, boundaries, or a different path is not selfish; it is finally choosing the one person you live with 24/7.

A tiny reframe

Instead of asking, “Who am I letting down?” try asking, “Am I letting myself down? Who am I putting first when I take this ferry, make this drive, book this flight, go to this dinner, reply to this WhatsApp group?” The answer to that question is your cue to choose differently.

The people who truly matter would rather adjust their expectations than watch you slowly disappear under the weight of everyone else’s needs.

Make yourself the main character. We’ll all be okay if you do.