Open when I'm struggling to spend time alone, or endure quiet time

Dear Lisa,

Silence feels hard. When the noise dips there’s nothing to drown out the thoughts, and it can feel like you’re trapped in a room with your own brain. That doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong; it means you’re human.

Why the quiet matters

When you’re quiet, you close the door on everyone else’s voices—family, patients, friends, social media, me. In that space there is only one mind, one soul, and it’s yours. It would be such a shame to spend that space attacking yourself instead of learning to be on your own side.

Sitting with the discomfort is not punishment; it’s training. You are teaching your nervous system that you can feel big things and still be safe in your own company.

Tiny ways to sit with it

• 🕯 Sit in a quiet room with a candle for 3 minutes and just notice the light.
• 📖 Read a few pages of a book with your phone in another room.
• 🫁 Do three slow breaths, counting the exhale, and simply watch what your mind does.
• ✍️ Write down the first three thoughts that show up and answer each with, “Thank you, I’ve heard you.”

What you’re practicing

You’re not trying to become someone who never feels restless or lonely. You’re practicing becoming someone who can feel restless or lonely and still treat herself kindly.

Quiet time is not a verdict on you; it’s a chance to choose new patterns. Every time you stay with yourself for a few more breaths instead of running from the feeling, you are rewiring the story of what it means to be alone.

There is only one mind you get to live in. Let’s keep turning it into a place of peace and calm, not spirals that tear you down.

Love, Chris 🌙